Republican Dating Sites. That is all.



I realize that the slow rising realization that my marriage flopped--rather profoundly if I must say--is starting to shock the lot of you.  Though, you should remember that I was single for more than 30 years (near 36) before taking that ill fated trip down the isle.  Seriously, I've moved on, I'm good, I'm happy.  Things went down a year ago.  I'm not going into that now . . .  dramatics and damage of love undone is not something I really care to broadcast for internet harvesting of sorts. None-the-less, we have another serious conversation to have.

I know that many of my so-called friends enjoy signing me up for every Republican list serve there is during political season.  Well, this year, it seams these chumps have found a new level of hell.  Republican people meet dot com is apparently a real f-ing dating site.  Dude.  No.  Oh no.  Just hell f-ing no.

Last spring I let a couple folks talk me into a brief stint at online dating.  Nope.  Lasted a month.  Ya know, I'm good. Meeting people isn't terribly difficult, if I'm that inclined.  Though, more so, solo isn't too bad.  My house is how I left it when I return, there's no one farting the bed but me,  and . . . well, walking around naked is another benefit.  If you are pervy and want to know now, I'm in a wife beater and yoga pants . . . like a white girl.  Sorry, there's no pumpkin spice in my cup and I'm not twirling my hair and spewing "I can't even."  So, I'm a bad white girl.  Rah rah.  Moreover, I'm eating sade yogurt ve visne reçeli.  That's Turkish yogurt with cherry jam.  Not a drop of pumpkin involved.

Back to this dating chaos.  Apparently something about me screams for all the weirdos, wack jobs, and has-beens to surface.  People sending bizarre, and inappropriate messages, and then of course meeting me and turning out to be A) dumber than whale's shit, B) too dim witted to see past my chest, and C) So, you're a Dr.? What's this (and some fool tries to kiss me).  That last one is my personal favorite.   Don't get me wrong, kissing is cool and all . . . but when you've met me less than an hour ago . . . Dude, get a drop of patience, common sense, and civility.  I realize this ten story town runs on the speed of light, but there are some things that--well--don't need to run faster than I can.

So, there's ample reasons why I loathe and despise online dating.

I've met my share of people at the local pub, and of course . . . there's always the seven train. Or, as I like to call it, the don't ever be lonely train.  As I've said before, there's never a shortage of hands on my ass.  Seriously, I'm getting more feel ups than hookers on military bases.  So, yea, homegirl can manage on her own . . .

And as for those Republican date ups . . . really now.  There are many things to make my vagina quiver and shake in fear these days, but a dating site tailored for Republican babies certainly ascends the list in astounding glory.  That, my friends, makes my vagina shake, cry, and scream in the kind of fermented fear only the greatest evils can produce.

So, no.  Just no.  No Republican dating nods needed.  No dating hookups needed at all. I'm going to try and think that the thought was there, but . . . yea no.  People better hide.  When I find out who you are expect to get truckloads of extreme liberal lit at your front door and inbox.  Just sayin'.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programing.

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