Cooler than You: Stupid Things I Say and Do

Perhaps it is a pull of the moon, the extensive rain, or just luck itself but I've got a disproportionate amount of friends wearing tin foil hats as of late.  I mean, their local grocery runs out of white bread and it turns into a conspiracy to make them fatter and starve them out.  The aforementioned rain makes the wifi slow, it must be government spies looking in to see what they are buying online.  And then, while using an iPhone, proclaiming that we are all being controlled by machines.  Yeah, there's a relative tin foil hat parade happening around me. I look to my left.  I look to my right.  I've got a match people. Late last week I thought that, perhaps, I was at the apex of it when some ballsy assed mother fucker blew on my shoulder blades.  Why yes, while on the seven train and sporting a sundress on a 90+ degree day, I clearly needed a fucking burka.  I know . . . I know . . . I totally asked for it. That being said, I came up with ...

I could lie and tell you in light of the impending Crown Jewel of Hallmark Holidays I replenished my lingerie drawer.  I could.  Yet, like a bad penny that always comes back, I'm too damned honest.  I've been home a whopping three weeks (shocker, I know . . . hold your gasps, it won't be for much longer), and in that time an impressive list of to-dos has been done and an even more surmounting of stitching has been done.   Last year, about to the day, I posted the first (of a few  (or this one  too)) diatribe on bra making.  Then, there was the one post where my Mom and Dad (who apparently read things their daughter writes--who knew!) found out about my newest tattoos.  Yea, that sports bra  and top is like a feat of gravity in and of its own . . . though, the final frontier is a strapless.  I heard a rumor of one being released this year, and let's just say if that happens I'm all about that.  No lie.   Anywho . . . L...