Keep your junk off my car

Well...apparently during the Great Eastcoast Earthquake today hoodlums in Queens found a new way to vandalize. Seriously. Even better, this damned sticker is melded on like some kind of Houdini job.

This site . . . a loose cadre of salacious NYC sex stories of co-ed age . . . I can only figure my car got tagged because of the five university stickers (yea, it's called contingent faculty. Laugh later).

And here's what I'd like to say:

Dear Little Bored Wannabe Hipster,

Now seriously little shit head punks. I don't fuck with you and your spiked hair, kool aid colored locks, and body odor from your trendy desire to bathe occasionally. I don't blemish your BMX bike and critique your "taste" in music. Though, on another note, if I can hear it through your ear buds jammed in your ears you should consider turning it the fuck down.

Don't vandalize my car with your so-called "new vandalism". It's the only real piece of property I have, next to scores of books mostly in storage.

Better run like the devil if I ever catch you.

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