Cooler than You: Stupid Things I Say and Do

I haven't posted much lately because I've been busy with the new semester and finishing the first book. In the next few weeks I'll be sure to post loads of stuff, but this is what I got a draft of today . . . And yes, folks, we are all about the self promotion. Buy our book. Expand your mind. Bring us enough royalties to buy a cup of coffee. Oh, I might be biased because my name is on here, and I took the cover photo, but I think it looks absolutely gorgeous !

Leaving Long Island was a lot of things. Though, being an upstanding citizen and all, I did flip it off as I crossed the Throgs Neck Bridge. Yes, I did. Mature, I know. For those of you who got my messages all day . . . laugh. I did. The point of this . . . I am now at my end point, for the time being. And no, I am not happy about the state of my life and career at this point in time. Rooting through things, unpacking, freaking out because I have no job, and becoming even more depressed to learn that adjunct jobs are slim to none has left me far far too uncomfortable. So . . . I rummaged through the vinyl in my parent's house to find my old Willie Nelson Stardust album. Humph. First, I opened the closet door and what did I find? No, not a literal skeleton. But, I did find a metal cane propped next to a .22 rifle. I was even a bit dismayed to learn that it was a "real" one and not an air. Now seriously, is this set-up meant to be easy access for the upwardly a...

So I spent the day helping a friend submit his dissertation to the graduate school, and let's just say I was soooo very happy to know that three formatting notes were changed since I submitted the first week of April. Humph. A notice on the website would be have been nice. Oh well. All done. He now has his SBU tie, like I have my SBU scarf. Now . . .I finalize my book manuscript. Three weeks to deadline. But, look what came in today . . . I heart my purple glasses. I do not heart manuscript submission. I am tired, and I will party like it is 1999 when all is complete.

I itch. All over. My skin hurts, it’s dry, and I itch. Why do I have the worst case eczema known to man, woman, dog, or anything in between? Lupus. Sometimes I think the drugs might be worse than the disease. Pfft. Itch, itch, itch. I know this isn’t much, but a bad day plus continued itchy skin equates to a very little from me. I'm too tired to be funny.

This past January my Dad and I were perusing cheap bookstores in Chester, VA. Before I tell you about the bookstore, you should know that we had just come from JcPenneys. While there I used my trusty camera phone to take photos of some hideous prom dresses. They were white, with about twelve yards of white tulle, and they had black and gray sequins on them. I won’t post that photo here because I am sure that many a sixteen year old thought they were the coolest thing since sliced bread to wear to the prom. Now, for that bookstore . . . Dad and I went into a discount bookstore, and while perusing I came across what I can only call the dumbest book I have ever seen. Seriously. Now, if you need a book on how to be a sex goddess I personally think that you need to get out more. You know, there are these delightful places called BARS that anyone can be a goddess at. If you are low on self-esteem just walk into a trashy honky tonk. Drunk ...

Less than a week after Tanfer flew back to Turkey she not only told me she was going through shopping withdrawal, but she sent me the following email। From: TanferinTurkey@emails.com To:NessathePhD@emails.com July 2008 Subject: Coach ;) Let me know if you see these styles at the outlet (I'll tell my mom): The Hamptons Signature Carryall in brown and the Hamptons Signature Satchel in black। My response: From: NessathePhD@emails.com To: TanferinTurkey@emails.com Subject: Re: Coach ;) My Ode to Coach I wear it on my arm with pride, And I take it wherever I go. I tote it the grocery store, I tag it along at the beach, And I run with it when I need to hide. I am just another Coach whore। I love my Coach Look at it, ain’t it pretty? I’ll drive sixty miles to the nearest store, And blow every penny I have on . . . Ohhhh, look at the pretty purple one over there। I have pretty gold sandals, With delicious gold...