Cooler than You: Stupid Things I Say and Do

As January is only eighteen days in, and I'm failing at life and 2019, I sit here wondering when the swells of damage will subside.  Perceptions will always fool you. In seven days: I lost one of my emergency contacts as she made it clear she wanted to know my contingency plan.  Well, it was never for her to take care of me.  So, I won't bother her again.  That one rips me to my core as I've never asked anyone to take care of me.  I'm done being there for people, as in the end . . . Had someone comment, more than once, that we've known each other for a long time.  Well, we've known each other so long that he lied to my face.  Even more: he doesn't know me.  At all.  He doesn't know my brother's name, my favorite color or flower, doesn't know that he's a big reason the occasional date usually ends as a dud as the dude across the table falls flat in comparison.  He doesn't know I still remember the day he told me to call him by his...

I stopped writing for a while.  Well, here I did.  Writing, though, is a daily occurrence.  There's a new novel in the works, even though I'm still committing guerilla warfare on trying to find an agent.  Or something like that.  More like they are committing omission by silence or bizarre notes of "we love what we read, but we can't take you."  Sounds like the story of my life.  Always.  Auto, rinse, repeat. There's a new academic piece coming out next month, or this. . . Depending on the press's literal press.  There's a new academic piece, part of the forthcoming monograph I have a soft offer on, coming out next fall.  My last monograph should hit paperback next month.  There's a short story under final review.  Wouldn't that be grand?  The one aspect of my life I haven't broken into the publishing world on that I always said was what I wanted to do. As of recent, I'm waking up from seven days in the hospit...